Woodchuck Wisdom

Let us take a long look at our parents for just one moment. I know that we all think that we could not have come from them as we are so different than they are. We tend to believe things differently than they do. We can do things better than they can. We will never fall into the same traps that they do. So, if these statement are true, just where do kids come from? We had a nice time at Christmas with both sets of parents here at the Woodchuck manor. OK, we survived anyway. My mother was standoffish, DWs mother was just rude. They both had very nasty comments for us and our children. DWs mother would not believe that DW put up the Christmas lights on the outside of the house. Even through I told that she did, twice....twice I tell you. My mother told my youngest rodent that her pants were way too tight and she way fat. And I'm concerned that she is a little to thin and should be eating more as she continues to grow. My dad was actually the least trouble of the group, he must not of

In one week I will have been on Blogger for one year. I was looking back to see the lack of wisdom that I have shared over that year and let me tell you the wisdom was very sparse indeed. The humor was not much better on the blog front as I have no humor to spare. I did however find a very nice I2PA along the way and will continue to share such information when I can. So what have we learned over the year? 1. Hooters is not a refernce to owls. 2. 42 is the answer to everything. 3. Wild cows do live above 9000 feet 4. Hamsters are taking over the world. 5. More than 4 hours on the road without a Starbucks is a bad thing. 6. Aston Martin is still for sale and I need investors now....NOW I said.

I raise my Rouge Santa's ale to you all and wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New year. I will spend Christmas eve with my parents and in laws . This is just not what Christmas is all about. I love my DW for being able to pull this together and survive it. DW has wrapped all of the gifts and placed them under the tree. And yes, this year we have a real tree, not just the inflatable one. Christmas day is spent with the family and this is what Christmas is all about. I enjoy my kids and all of the fun we have together. I really love to see the stress leave my DW face as the last of the in laws and parents leave and the pressure of the holidays is gone for another 11.5 months.

A grumpy old fart...Ya, I'm stumbled on what to get my dad. Main ideals so far: A smack upside the head... coal... manners... and the list goes down hill from here. Pass the I2PA and let the party begin.

Oh, the little places that Woodchucks go. This is a little canyon just off of I84, 20 miles East of Twin Falls, ID. Don't let the sun fool you, it was only 40 degrees outside. At higher water flow, I bet this would be one hell of a nice little raft trip.

This comes from the Disgruntled Chemist . I don't normaly do list as nobody really cares what I like or anything like that. And mostly because the people that know me know that I like strange things and the people that don't really know me, well I would like to keep them around for a little bit longer. I'm a car guy, so here goes: 1. Favorite Car? 1957 Jaguar XKSS . This is pure art in motion. Aston Martin DB2 2. Favorite Car you've ever owned? 1962 Impala SS Convertible/1960 Austin Heally 3000 3. Car you would be embarrassed to be seen driving? Anything from France. 4. Next car you plan to buy? Classic Mini Cooper. Please don't tell the DW . 5. Next car you would buy for daily use if money were no object? Refer to number one. 6. What bumper stickers or other decorations, if any, do you have on your car? None 7. Average annual miles you put on your primary vehicle? Company truck, 50,000 8. Describe your driving style. Fast and smile at local law enforcement. I'

I left Salt Lake City on Friday at 1pm Pacific time and arrived home at 11:37 pm. That's 10 hours 37 minutes to drive over 780 miles with 3 stops at Starbucks and one stop for fuel. I was going to meet Mr. Squirrel for an Ale in Portland, however due to the fact that I was on auto control, stopping would have been a really bad ideal. That is unless the little squirrel was going to drive me the rest of the way home? Not that anyone really cares, but that adds up to 75.21 miles an hour average. Not bad for a little woodland creature and his trusty stead. This beats my previous best time by 23 minutes. Did I mention that only 13 people attended the training session? This is a far cry from the 100 people that the customer confirmed with us just over a month ago. I was originally going to do 3 two hour sessions instead of the one two hour session. I would have flown instead of driving, but I did have 500 lbs of steel with me and the airlines frown on that much weight.

Just a shot drive today. Starbucks, just two stops today. Snow, check freezing fog, check Dense fog, check Rain, check sun, check 19-52 degrees today. My life is so mundane....I really need to get out more.

I leave Thursday for Salt Lake City, UT. It's only an 11 hour drive through some of the best country anywhere in the world. The weather should be great based on the forcast. I have all of the Starbucks located for the trip. The mid day meal will come in LaGrande , OR. at Nelle's in and out for the best greasy frys to be found in Oregon. The customer that I'm going to go and see Friday called today to let me know that the orginal plan of training from 8am to 3pm and doing 3 sessions in that time span has changed. I'm now doing a session from 10am until12 noon for about 20 people. This is a far cry from the 3 sessions of 30+ that were going to be there. I really should fly there and not drive. I think that I will look at last minute airfares and see what I can find.

8 hours, 30 minutes --- 553.80 miles X 2= A whole lot of driving. Right. I was not going to beat my best time this trip. Just add in all of the ice, snow, and you have a long daily commute. Just 12 more trips like this and I should have enough miles on the steed to turn her in for a new one. I will however miss the times we had together, the trips through Starbucks drive through , the countless hours of Heavy Metal, Punk, and Celtic folk songs being played on the stereo , and who could forget the way you power slide in the snow. Nobody can turn a cookie like you. The black paint glowing in the morning sun. I just love the way you throw snow all over Squirrels truck as you whip out of the rest area on a snowy winter afternoon. Starbucks has the holiday ginger bread loaf out again for the season except in Montana where it should arrive today. Not on Tuesday when I was there. Love the ginger bread, it's whats for breakfast. So I stopped in Hood River, OR. on Monday at the local Starbu

http://www.thevap.com/ Episode 32: Get Hitched! It's a long podcast, I'm the last half of the podcast. This was taped after a 10 hour day at SEMA and sitting in a hotel room while on the phone. I then went to the airport to take a midnight flight home. So, will this make a diffenence in my job, will anyone care, or will it get me a pay raise??? NO. Today may be a great day to go back to being 10 years old where I had no stress.

We sit around all winter dreaming of the sun. Then we sit around all summer long look for that first sign of winter. Enjoy the moment. It goes by way toooooooo fast. Find that perfect rock, kick back and relax.

I don't really take vacations, instead I take a lot of small trips with my family. I put the two little rodents in the back and we drive and enjoy time with each other. Although no one in the family is a road warrior like me, they do enjoy the destinations. I have not taken any days off this year and will take my "Vacation time" in December and have fun with the rodents. I guess I will never understand someone who needs to leave the kids with the Grandparents and go away for two weeks to some place expensive for a break. I mean, shouldn't you home life and family be where you want to go when you need a break. However, I do understand that this does not apply to my MIL....not going there.....not going there........We teach our kids to live and breathe in this world, don't do that, don't do this. But, do we ever teach our kids to have fun. Does anyone ever say do this, do that, or run wild and have fun? Next time you are driving down the road and you pass one of

Twin Falls, ID. What a great place to find a mini mart with a large selection of Rogue ales on hand. Needless to say the Squirrel and I were very happy too view the falls, have a nice dinner and then sit back in the hotel room and drink a Rogue. One should always know where the next ale can be found. I should point out that this picture was taken during the spring run off. Right now I'm home enjoying a nice cup of tea and the Squirrel is in North Dakota.

The Cat wins....

That is all I ever do......

As some of you may know, I was going to raft the Grand Canyon this year, 18 days of whitewater and fun. As the rest of you know, this did not happen. So I sit here at 36, 000 feet dreaming of fun in the sun and the water that was not to be. I had a much better title to this post, but due to everyone getting the wrong ideal...I changed it. I was afraid of the google search. Mt. Hood is such a wimpy mountain, but I must admit that it looked very good today flying into Portland from Phoenix, AZ. Phoenix was 80 degrees and sunny with just a slight haze. Portland is cold, raining, and there is snow in the foothills. I think I'm turning into a sun bunny.

SEMA.... There was a Starbucks not to far from the booth, but what is up with the price of everything almost double what it is at a normal Starbucks? And when I tried to order a Venti Americano in a Tall cup, the guy just gave me that " I'm soooo confused " look. So I tried to order it in more simple terms, "four shots with just a little water for color". This just made matters worse. In the end I just received a Venti. I as a rule don't like the Venti as it's as tall as I am and makes it hard to drink. And in support of the glorious Hamster, please go vote for him and his new World Order at the Ellen Degeneres web site. vote: Hamster Write in: Wicked Hamster As the TKW says "Vote now and Vote often"

As most of you know, I like cars! Ok, maybe I'll even go as far as saying I'm obsessed with the automobile. What does the perfect call look like? This is the car of my dreams, yes one of many I know, but for this post this is the car. It's more than a car, it's a piece of art that just happens to have the sweetest exhaust note that you have ever heard. I know from talking to the builder and owner of the automobile that it would cost north of $175.000 to build this type of art work. Please note that the grab bar for the passenger is also the AC vent. How cool is that? The best part of this art work is the fact that you can drive and enjoy this on the streets. Also please take note of the fact that there is no windscreen post or trim around the glass. The windscreen is a stock glass that has been layed back 4 degrees and molded into the Fiberglas to create a very nice illusion of speed while the auto is just sitting there...... SEMA is not a place where Woodchucks should

On some days it's nice to take a little ride in a plane. Mt Rainier never looked so good and it is truly a great mountain, great ridge lines, side mountains leading up to the summit, and it overlooks Seattle with authority. If and when you ever get to Seattle you must go up to the top of the Space Needle and view the mountain. I also recommend that you take a day and visit the mountain in person. A must see is the high lakes at the summit of HWY 410. Pack a picnic lunch and a Rogue and enjoy, just don't make any noise as this place is quiet and should remain that way.

Ok, -40 below....Funny Story. You see I was traveling through the great state of North Dakota on my way to Winnipeg, Canada when it was -40 below. I stopped to get fuel before crossing the border. While standing outside pumping the fuel my nose started to run just a little, do you see where this is going? So, not having a snot rag around I just sniffed really hard so that I could go inside to take of things.......do you see where this is going yet??? Ok, why does nobody tell you that your snot will freeze you nose shut. A little help here would have been nice. I go in side of the store and the lady behind the counter starts to chuckle and says " this happens all of the time, you must not be from around here"? She takes me around back of the counter where she has a pot of boiling water and tells me to stand there until my nose unfrozen.... ya, funny story.

Mr. Squirrel has the added responsibility of North and South Dakota. Let's all give our support and blessing as he ventures off to the great unknow in the winter months Items that you might want to avoid: The Snowmobile gangs...The Artic Cats vs. The Ski Doos.... This could also be the next Fast and The Furious sequel......" TTTThe FFFFast and TTThe FFFurious....This time they mean business". "It's 40 below and the lake is frozen, but the gangs are red hot" Or it could be called "Fargo Drift" Most import thing to remember, do not put your tongue on the flag pole.

That which was going to happen may in fact not be going to happen just yet, or maybe not at all. Stay tuned as I will add more later today. Let's just say that if one person in the company I work for says "yes", then the butthead I have to work with is going to be looking for a new job and the other butthead that has been with the company for 11 weeks, can you say "11 weeks" will be on the outs. But then again, this is a large corporation, anything can happen and then again, nothing can happen. Give me a week and I will tell you about the "11 week" guy........

Friday....come on Friday..... Happy Happy Joy Joy ......new should arrive on Friday....stay tuned to your local Wicked Hamster controlled station for further details.......,

When I was in Southern CA last week I had the opporunity to take a fabulous bike ride off trail in a 1,300 acre park just south of Diamond Bar. The weather was wonderful, the smog had blown out and you could actually see the San Gabriel Mountains. Before heading out I checked with the local ranger and reviewed all the pertinent cougar and bear survival literature, in addition to a quick snake review. Dude, I was ready! The park was gorgeous and it was kickin' my butt on those trails! The first trail was the ridge trail, which was a 2,000 ft climb over 5 miles. Ouch. Pretty soon a came to straight away and I was trekking downhill - no stoppin' me now! Crap! It looks like poop on the trail. You know like piles of little critter dung. As I get closer I notice the piles are lookin' a bit furry. And scattering from the trail where they were sunning themselves. Now, I am not kiddin', they were covering the entire path for at LEAST 100 feet and the grass was over 5' high o

I have been blessed with being able to drive some of the most unbelievable roads ever paved. Last week I found myself on HWY 108 in Central California. 130 Miles 26% grade 9624 at the summit 4 hours to drive this route This photo is looking west just down from the summit. I could live here with the wild cows. A lone wild cow at the 9000 foot level just making sure that nobody is speeding along.

Mr. Squirrel still is just a little higher on the roads than me, but I did give it the old college try... You would think that a state as large as Californina would have higher roads.

And you woke me up for this?

And we are all off to the loonie bin. A witch will weight the same as a duck because they both float and therefore are both made of wood. or something like that..... This silliness needs to stop!

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. I sleep all night. I work all day. Mounties : He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin' And have buttered scones for tea. Mounties: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch. He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shopping And has buttered scones for tea. Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay. I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day. I cut down trees. I skip and jump. I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothingAnd hang around in bars. Mounties : He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps. He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women'

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam! Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spam. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am. Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spaaam! Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaaaaam!

So here I am with my "muscle shirt" and sportin' my messenger bag as I rode my bike to and from work everyday. Please note the great legs from all of that riding.

Or I will send out the troops to taunt you with my ales....

So, here I am working in the big city of Milton just out side of Toronto, ON. I'm giving a rousing little 7 hour training session on stuff. Next stop, Starbucks via southern California.

Since I am the Imperial Hamster Minister of Automotive Affairs, I felt that I should have a nice little automobile to drive formyself. 1957 Jaguar XKSS

So, have you ever been upgraded in a hotel and get the nice big jetted tub in your room? Well, I have and it was not pretty. I jumped into the tube at a very nice cruising temp of 102 or so. Hit the jets on and started to add some of the soaking gel that the hotel provides for use in the tub. As I was just not getting the amount of bubbles that I wanted, I added the whole bottle. Can you see where this is going here? Between the heat and the aroma from the gel, I managed to nod off for just a few moments, moments I tell ya. I wake up when the foam starts going up my nose, the rest of the foam is about 2 feet above my head. Now the foam has not flowed all over the floor as it has created a nice wall and just moved up as the jets continued to create more foam. I'm hear to tell you all that foam up the nose is not a good thing, no matter what flavor it is...nope, nope, not good at all. I go down stairs to meet Mr. Squirrel who I am working with that day and start to tell him about the

That is all I ever do. Here I am at the most amazing site, the rapids above the falls are just wonderful. The big question is how do you get to them without getting stuck in going over the that last step, and it's a big one.

Ford has put Aston Martin up for sale. Investors Wanted With sales of over $700,000,000 per year that should generate $280,000,000 in gross revenue that should net $1.00 after taxes. If there is a divine entity, or even one with a sick sense of humor, let the investors call now.

Now that I have a new TV and such... It's time to start looking for the new toy to work for. And this would be a fun little car for the little woodchucks to drive as they get older.

Ford Tri-Motor. Just look at the head room. Dreaming of a P-51. If only I had a spare 3-4 million for a new toy. It's even glorious on the ground. Just how cool is this Beech?

CHIA (Central Hamster Intelligence Agency; pun intended) possible puns: Chia pet Chia hat Aztec Goddess Aztec Goddess wearing a chia hat holding a chia pet while holding a keg of I2PA up like the world on her sholder, all the time riding with a Scotsman on a horse

The whole theme today was a Woodchuck and his ale. I found a nice little place in downtown Madison, WI. called the Great Dane Pub & Brewing Company. This was one of the best IPAs I've had east of the Rockies. Fun little place to go and the food was not to bad either. Traveling the Globe...ok, just the North American continent in search of the perfect pint on IPA. Hops, they are not just for breakfast anymore.

So many Automobiles to aquire and so little time..... Aston Martins, Jaguars, and Ferrari...Oh, My.