Skip to main content

crunching spiders screaming woodchuck

When I was in Southern CA last week I had the opporunity to take a fabulous bike ride off trail in a 1,300 acre park just south of Diamond Bar. The weather was wonderful, the smog had blown out and you could actually see the San Gabriel Mountains.

Before heading out I checked with the local ranger and reviewed all the pertinent cougar and bear survival literature, in addition to a quick snake review. Dude, I was ready!

The park was gorgeous and it was kickin' my butt on those trails! The first trail was the ridge trail, which was a 2,000 ft climb over 5 miles. Ouch.

Pretty soon a came to straight away and I was trekking downhill - no stoppin' me now!

Crap!

It looks like poop on the trail.

You know like piles of little critter dung.

As I get closer I notice the piles are lookin' a bit furry.

And scattering from the trail where they were sunning themselves.

Now, I am not kiddin', they were covering the entire path for at LEAST 100 feet and the grass was over 5' high on either side of the trail.

CRUNCH.

AAAAAAAAGH!

Did you know there were BIG BLACK HAIRY tarantulas in southern CA?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there a reason the ranger failed to mention this? Does he get a kick out of hearing grown woodchucks scream like blind baby marmots! Were these extras from the last Godzilla movie!? "The Tarantuals that Ate Tokyo"

Needless to say, I rode the entire 12 miles (up hill probably but I wasn't looking) back to the parking lot without stopping! Where SOME guy has the nerve to say "oh, yeah, I don't do THAT trail because of the spiders". Where the FRELL was he when I started out!?

Did I mention that the bike went up and down like over washboard road as it crunched through the VERY large spiders!

Hello, I was prepared for cougar, no problem - hello! kitties are cute! And I have had dinner with a bear before - actually a mom and her cub.

I would have written about this sooner, but I have been in therapy.

Shock treatments actually.

I still can't sleep alone.

Comments

Me said…
LOL... funny yet freaky at the same time.
Anonymous said…
Go back and ride through a few hundred more times, the more spiders you crunch, the fewer there will be (I don't like spiders and snakes.)

DG
WickedHamster said…
Uh... they didn't get a good look at your license plate, did they? I hear they come after you if you kill one of their own. Been nice knowin' ya...
Anonymous said…
It takes a tough Woodchuck to come to grips with his fears. Your little adventure has me drinking early this morning. They say what ever doesn't kill you, or eat you alive, only makes you stronger...

After this little bout with nature, you may never die.
Anonymous said…
oh, no worries over the raging floodwaters of the Illinois - but a few itty bitty spiders and you go screaming . . .
Woodchuck said…
It was only a 25' hole on the Illinois River, so what if it got me a guest spot on Date Line. Spiders are scary, I mean really scary, come on people back me up here!!!!
WickedHamster said…
Guest spot on Date Line? We want video! We want video! We want video!
Anonymous said…
March 22, 1998: Illinois River Flash Flood: Two rafters die; 10 rescued

I have the video here somewhere . . . seriously

Popular posts from this blog

So, what car would you buy your kid???

There seems to be a general discussion running rampant around here about what type of car you should by a kid. And when said car should appear around the house. As I only have 4 years to pull this off, better start now. Things to consider before buying the car: 1. DD must complete 12 hours of flight time before taking test for permit. 2. Complete at least one driving school, Skip Barber , Bondurant Racing School , and so on. 3. DD must be able to change a tire, change the oil, do basic maintance on the car. I would like them to be able to strip down an engine and do a rebuild , however that may be just to much at this point. 4.DD must understand that I will not under any circumstance have or allow a pink car to park in front of my house. Cars come in four colors only, Red, Blue, Black, and British Racing Green. 5. Just what is the perfect Horse power to weight ratio? 6. Only one passenger in the car at a time. This is a good argument for a older British sports car that only has two s...

When do you take a Vacation?

I don't really take vacations, instead I take a lot of small trips with my family. I put the two little rodents in the back and we drive and enjoy time with each other. Although no one in the family is a road warrior like me, they do enjoy the destinations. I have not taken any days off this year and will take my "Vacation time" in December and have fun with the rodents. I guess I will never understand someone who needs to leave the kids with the Grandparents and go away for two weeks to some place expensive for a break. I mean, shouldn't you home life and family be where you want to go when you need a break. However, I do understand that this does not apply to my MIL....not going there.....not going there........We teach our kids to live and breathe in this world, don't do that, don't do this. But, do we ever teach our kids to have fun. Does anyone ever say do this, do that, or run wild and have fun? Next time you are driving down the road and you pass one of...

Starbucks everywhere

SEMA.... There was a Starbucks not to far from the booth, but what is up with the price of everything almost double what it is at a normal Starbucks? And when I tried to order a Venti Americano in a Tall cup, the guy just gave me that " I'm soooo confused " look. So I tried to order it in more simple terms, "four shots with just a little water for color". This just made matters worse. In the end I just received a Venti. I as a rule don't like the Venti as it's as tall as I am and makes it hard to drink. And in support of the glorious Hamster, please go vote for him and his new World Order at the Ellen Degeneres web site. vote: Hamster Write in: Wicked Hamster As the TKW says "Vote now and Vote often"