Woodchuck Wisdom

I received my luggage on Thursday at 5:30AM. Then taught my topics on Thursday all day, went to dinner, arrived at the hotel at midnight. I then got back up at 3AM to get on the airport shuttle at 3:30AM so that I could be at the airport by 4AM to get on the airplane by 5:30AM to depart at 6AM. Next week I'm off to Sacramento, CA.

Portland to Montreal, sounds simple. I was going to be in Montreal by 5:10pm with my luggage and life is good. WRONG. Portland to St. Paul to Montreal. What really happened: Portland to St. Paul to Detroit to Montreal. I arrived in Montreal at 1am. Let's recap the flight of my luggage: Portland to St. Paul to who the hell knows where. lost, gone, missing, not with me anymore, "D" all of the above. So, now I sit in Three Rivers in the same cloths I flew out in on Tuesday. I did shower. I think that I might do the training session in a speedo on Thursday. I need to learn how to use "carry on" type of flying. Pictures to follow.

Where you just sit back and life is good.

I'm sitting here wondering what happens to "Time". I've started this post about dozen or so times in the last three weeks to no avail. The projects at work are getting longer and less fun to do. And my schedule is no longer my own to create. I'm at the whim of DA 1 or is that DA 2...anywhoo, and he is making sure that I don't have time to do my job. But, wait...does anyone really know what my job is? I sure don't as it keeps changing every time I check email. Old Job: I was working in the Western Region of the company which meant that I covered 15 western states and 1/2 of Canada. I was a technical resource for the District Sales force that worked in the Western Region. I did installs of our product and worked with the technicians in the field to overcome any problems. I solved issues and worked with customers to make them happy. I control my schedule to work with customers and District Sales Managers. New Job: I now travel the whole US and Canada. I'm...

Let us just take a little look at the last few weeks, shall we? I spent a few days in sunny and very hot (but it's a dry heat) Arizona. And I'm on one of the largest tour attractions in the US and what do I take pictures of???? Why a new Aston Martin of course, what else would you expect? And then there was this little road with all of these turns and very steep. I think it was in San Fransisco somewhere. My little black steed was as playful as a kitty that just could not wait to pounce on the fun. However I must admit that some of the people taking pictures were just a bit put out when I kept cutting the rear loose to make the turns. The tyres sound really good spinning on the brick. Oh the fun of it all.

The following names have been changed to protect the stupid: When you manage people, one should always try to live by the rules they enforce on others. It just sets a good example. So, when we(we as in the Training Team, all three members of it) had our weekly conference call today to go over our 15 minutes of material in one hour or more. The new boss decides to read DA1 the riot act because he has to get on an airplane to fly to where the boss (DA2) is sending him and only has 20 minutes to be on the call. After chewing DA1's butt for 5 minutes he then says "now, let's get back on topic because I have to leave soon for personal reasons". WTF are you talking about? DA1 can't use the excuse of flying and getting on an airplane, but you can use the excuse that you need personal time. Does this mean I can use the excuse that I'm fat so that I can take a 30 minute nap at 2pm everyday? Sorry, I can't travel because I'm doing something of great importance t...

Three weeks of MIA in the world of mayhem and outright silliness. Let's recap the weeks, shall we? Week one: 1700 miles. 6 Starbucks. Reno Las Vegas Flagstaff Phoenix/Mesa 116 degree, but it's a dry heat. Week two: 200 miles Still 116 degrees, and who the blimey cares that it is a dry heat? 5 Starbucks Training on a new product line by a used car salesman. He has an answer for everything, even if it's made up on the spot. Week three: 1600 miles Starbucks...can't remember I think that I've worn the fur off my butt from so much time in the truck. Cooled down to 102 degrees. Still a dry heat and still nobody cares. It's hot...really hot...way too hot. Week four: Home this week. I need a nap.

I just had this feeling that someone was following me. Everywhere I went as I drove 65..ok...70mph there was this guy right on my butt, in and out of turns, up and over hills. I felt like I was in the movie "Duel" OK, 75mph for those of you that know me. But no more than that....well maybe 80mph every now and again.

At the recycled arts festival. Nice guy, just a little larger than life.

The really big mountain Lion..... OK , maybe it was a chipmunk ...but it was really big.

when you give a Woodchuck a big hill, even bigger rocks? And a Bike..... Did I mention that the rock was really big. Update: The bike is just fine, thank you very much.

Yes, I have been MIA for sometime now as work has been kind of "sucky" as of late. My daily work emails have gone from 3-4 to 25-30 with the new boss. For those of you that have been counting, that make 3 of them now. It make for a really fun day when all three call and tell you to do something different and the same time. So where have my travels taken me in the last three weeks? Detroit. Here I am at the airport looking for TR. Watching Nevada burn. And moving to a new house just 7.1 miles away. They say that most accidents happen within 5 mile of you home, so we moved just to be safe.

We have heard from our leaders in England. Everyone wait for the signal and let the invasion begin!

Well Hello Mr. Woodchuck. How are you today, Mr. Woodchuck? Did you know that your flight has been canceled and that you are going to have the day from Hell, Mr. Woodchuck? I must admit that the agent for Northwest Airlines was very nice and polite, however she still said those nasty words, "I'm sorry, your flight has been canceled today and we can't get you to where you want to go until tomorrow. I hope that this is not a inconvenience for you?" Information that the reader might want to know at this point: It's 6:30am Eastern time in Detroit, MI and I'm suppose to get on an airplane at 9:00am and arrive in Portland, OR at 11:55 am Pacific time. At this point I start the over one hour of witty banter with the agent about how Northwest Airlines is going to in fact get me to my destination today and not wait until tomorrow. So, just why is the flight canceled I asked the agent in my clam sweet voice, to which she replies, weather. I'm not sure she was ready...

Now that we are POD people and all, I have to clean out the crawl space under 1/2 our house. The problem with this is that I sort of let DW think that there was very little to nothing left down there. SHE FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS STILL A TON OF CRAP DOWN THERE. So now I'm picking up Cat crap as one of the furry little varmints started to live in the crawl space. I've moved out the eight pedal cars that were down there. I took what was left of the rafting/camping stuff over to fuzzballs place. And I really should call and tell him I did so, then again, maybe not. Now all I have to do is take down the shelves, finish taking the old store records out, and what else? Deck lid...check 6 boxes of toys...check road bike and trainer...check neon beer signs.....check old beer mirrors.....check raft and gear....check more old toys....double check Why is all of my crap in the crawl space? Don't answer as that was a rhetorical question. So in case I didn't mention this, we are movin...

I drink coffee, therefore I exist. No wait, that would be meritt. I travel to fun places, therefore I exist. No wait, that would be Travel. I conquer Scotland, therefore I exist. That would be Wickedhamster. If I sat around the forest eating Bon Bons, would I exist? And more important, are Twinkies Gluten free?

is most likely correct....or is that overstated? I will have to get back to you on that one.

So, I might be able to check off another state as I have been told that I might be going to Iowa. Yes, me in the land of corn, lack of trees and as flat as the eye can see. What should a furry woodland creature do?

Slow Down......Then again, maybe not.

News at Eleven......Offer...Counter Offer....120 days, well just kiss my, I'm calm now...counter counter offer.......stay tuned.