Woodchuck Wisdom

The question has been asked and needs to be answered: So, you all know the type in high school, the "Jock". The Jocks ran my school like so many school around the country. And, of course, football players topped that heirarchy of the teen stratusphere. And this might come as a huge surprise to most, but I played Football. I had social responsibilities to up hold and order to maintain on campus. You might say we were the police, the law and order of the school. We patrolled the halls with an iron fist. The stoners stayed well behaved. The nerds were well protected in exchange for homework. Life was good. Then one sunny spring day a nice little "Miss Gloria Steinem wanna be," who wrote for the school paper, decides to write a story questioning the authority of the Football team. In this situation, most people would of course write a rebuttal. And this is exactly what we would have done, had any of us on the Football team been able to write. No luck on this one. Howeve

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." "And the devil gave us daughters"---Woodchuck That's why I'll never be famous.

With Parts Falling Out of IT. So, I call the IT guys and tell them what is going on. IT: Does it still work Me: yup IT: Maybe you should keep the loaner for a week or so, just in case. Me: yup Me: One tiny little question, very minor really,,, what about the software issue on the loaner computer? I mean, I don't want to be any trouble here. IT: Hhhhmmmm, maybe we should send you a CD with what you need? me: yup Won't I look good going through the airports, I'm soooo important that I need, not one, but two computers. My job is so big it won't fit into just one. Why back up important information when you can have a back up computer. I'm off to the hardware store now for some black duct tape and JB Weld. I have silver duct tape at the house, but I feel that the higher tinsel strength that you get with black out weights the higher speed rating on the silver. And why JB Weld, in case I need to put any of the parts back in.

My computer is dead and has been sent to the IT department for a nice tune up and glossed over it still don't work right stamp of approval. I now have a "post it" size computer on loan from the IT department that works just fine execpt for one small, little, hardly noticable , not really an issue, itsy bitsy, tiny problem.......It does not have power point on it. Why does this matte you ask? Let me explain. I'm working on a power point project that is three presentations that total 200+ slides that are due on Friday of this week, YES, Friday of this week and my normal computer will not be back until Friday of this week!!!!!!!!! So, I'm doing the only thing that I can do, drinking a Yellow Snow Ale from Rogue. I had a Black Soba before that and I might just have to break into the "father- inlaw decoy" beer. Oh wait, DW just found a Stone IPA in the cold box. I would jump for joy, but I would most likely fall over. It was hidden behind the Celery, I woul

So, I'm commenting on Of Muskies and Metal and we start talking about Dokken and George Lynch. This brings back memory's of younger days with hair, so I bring out the Dokken CD and start playing it in the trusty steed. My two little rodents in the back start singing to the songs at which point my DW turns around and asks my oldest DD " Do you even know what band this is "? To which my DD replies " It's Dokken " with that Duh look on her face. My DW then turns to the younger child and asks " what is the name of the song "? And she replies " Alone Again " also with the Duh look on her face. I love my kids. They rock, no, I really mean they rock. If you like Dokken, try Lynch Mob. Lynch Mob is the band that George Lynch formed after the break up of Dokken. I'm a little old school and feel that if you are going to get just one album, go for Wicked Sensation from 1990. Much darker than what he did with Dokken, very raw in form. I like

You just never know who might show up for a nice pint of ale. Might I suggest a Trafalgar India Pale Ale or Waterloo bottle conditioned ale from Freeminer Brewery in the United Kingdom. Very old world style of ales, all I can say is "long live the Brits" Both ales are imported by the Rogue Brewery in Newport, Oregon. I only bring out the best for Squirrel and any other furry rodent that should stop by. WickedHamster...I know it's hot out since we all wear fur coats, but I have the badminton net up and ales on ice ready for that little get together in the backyard. Throw some shavings down on the deck and sleep under the stars. We can get Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel to come on down and fire up the pit for some Hobo dinners and we are set. On the s'mores thing, dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

I just love that line..... Other great quotes: "No matter where you go...there you are". (words to live by) "It goes to 11". ( anything worth having does) "It don't look like a killer Rabbit". ( they never do) "What's the matter, you want to live forever"? (aaaa, ya) "It's not easy being omnipotent" (but, I sure would like to try) "They drew first blood, they drew first blood". (makes revenge that much better) "Let's do the Time Warp..AGAINNNN". ( that one says it all) "I'm a MAOG, half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend". ( I have nothing to say to that one) "If it never came in a comic book, then I've never read the classics". ( I just read it for the pictures)

We made our second quarter bonus..... So, I'm sitting here planning 5 very large training sessions around the country and Canada. I've been working on this project for about 4 months now and as most of you who know me...I do not have a clue as to what I'm doing. These training sessions should be for about 150 to 200 people which should be no problem as the largest group I've had so far is about 360 people. I'm not bad with the smoking mirrors and "you didn't see anything" type of stuff. The problem is this, it's like throwing a summer party and then running around hoping that someone, anyone, at least one person shows up. And everyone knows how hard it is to to plan a party at your house, now plan one on the other side of the country, or even in another country all together. The agenda, glad you asked. I will be talking to people for about 6 hours total on the proper use of duct tape, red vs gray...no that's not it, crap, I will come up with so

So, the technicians ask me "what is that plug for"? "What is that big box for"? Me, how the hell should I know...Do I look like I'm a trainer...Crap, that is what I'm supposed to do.. So, what do I tell everyone: "The plug is for the lowside switching accessory package and the black box is part of the EVAP system, don't touch either of them". Damn, I'm good.