Woodchuck Wisdom

The World Domination Summit has reach a conclusion. Please await your orders from your glorious leader. As you can see, the summit was guarded by the Royal Penguin Guard.

A free Herring or Walnut to who ever can guess my location.

create your own visited states map or check out these Google Hacks. And from what I see of my travels for 2008, I should add 7 more to the list of states I've been too. And to think that only four short years ago, the number of states that I had been to was only five.

When everyone talks about the holidays and how wonderful life is. They try to be nice to their neighbor, smile, toast their friends and in general are decent folk. Why can't we do this all year? I'm the same grumpy little Woodchuck 365 days a year, except for leap year where I'm nice for one day. I belive that Jethro Tull said it best in the most true Christmas Song every written. Once in royal davids city stood a lonely cattle shed, Where a mother held her baby. Youd do well to remember the things he later said. When youre stuffing yourselves at the christmas parties, youll just laugh when I tell you to take a running jump. Youre missing the point Im sure does not need making That christmas spirit is not what you drink.!!! So how can you laugh when your own mothers hungry, And how can you smile when the reasons for smiling are wrong? And if I just messed up your thoughtless pleasures,Remember, if you wish, this is just a christmas song....

It seems that being sick is just not an option. When the customer was called on Monday to let him know that I would not be there on Tuesday due to illness, the response was..."he has to be here, I've got four customers coming, he has to be here.".....Let's send Rogue Squirrel in my place? It's only a 15 hour drive and Squirrel likes to drive, OK, not as much as I do. And more important here is that I've no ideal where I'm going with this rant! Let's hear it for Mama Squirrel that will be giving us the newest member to the Rogue Nation, a very cute little Squirrelette sometime in late March or early April. YAAAA Mama Squirrel!!!!.. oh, and you too RS. Now I remember, you can't be sick with this company. It was much more of an issue in my head. So, let me roll around in self pity and we will move on. And Squirrel, please remember that if you little girl grows up the way you want her too, she will be kicking you ass by the time she is 12 or so.........

Coming to Kentucky in late fall of 2007. It seems that I have been called to appear before the Almighty Hamster at a Summit involving Rum and Tequila.

For those who are about to Travel....... We fall on the floor and laugh at you....... It seems that my flight from Calgary, AB. that was going to leave the airport on Friday at 1pm, was in fact destine to never happen. What was in fact destin to happen was that I got to spend another night in Calgary and depart at 7:30am on Saturday. The bright side of this, and yes there is a bright side, is that I did not have to spend the night without my luggage. It seems that if the plane does not leave the gate, it's hard for them to loose it. Good to know. So, how would you answerer this question from the US Boarder agents? I show you leaving the country on Friday and not returning, care to explain this??? That's what I said..... So to recap, I got to come back through the US customs process twice. Can I have a gold star now please? It also seems that Starbucks is giving Timmy's a run for the coffee in Canada now....go Starbucks.

I survived SEMA again. Six long days. Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) I'm like a kid in a candy store at the SEMA show, and this year I did not get any time to walk around...nope....nothing.......can you say hostile work environment? Details later

I received my luggage on Thursday at 5:30AM. Then taught my topics on Thursday all day, went to dinner, arrived at the hotel at midnight. I then got back up at 3AM to get on the airport shuttle at 3:30AM so that I could be at the airport by 4AM to get on the airplane by 5:30AM to depart at 6AM. Next week I'm off to Sacramento, CA.

Portland to Montreal, sounds simple. I was going to be in Montreal by 5:10pm with my luggage and life is good. WRONG. Portland to St. Paul to Montreal. What really happened: Portland to St. Paul to Detroit to Montreal. I arrived in Montreal at 1am. Let's recap the flight of my luggage: Portland to St. Paul to who the hell knows where. lost, gone, missing, not with me anymore, "D" all of the above. So, now I sit in Three Rivers in the same cloths I flew out in on Tuesday. I did shower. I think that I might do the training session in a speedo on Thursday. I need to learn how to use "carry on" type of flying. Pictures to follow.

Where you just sit back and life is good.

I'm sitting here wondering what happens to "Time". I've started this post about dozen or so times in the last three weeks to no avail. The projects at work are getting longer and less fun to do. And my schedule is no longer my own to create. I'm at the whim of DA 1 or is that DA 2...anywhoo, and he is making sure that I don't have time to do my job. But, wait...does anyone really know what my job is? I sure don't as it keeps changing every time I check email. Old Job: I was working in the Western Region of the company which meant that I covered 15 western states and 1/2 of Canada. I was a technical resource for the District Sales force that worked in the Western Region. I did installs of our product and worked with the technicians in the field to overcome any problems. I solved issues and worked with customers to make them happy. I control my schedule to work with customers and District Sales Managers. New Job: I now travel the whole US and Canada. I'm...

Let us just take a little look at the last few weeks, shall we? I spent a few days in sunny and very hot (but it's a dry heat) Arizona. And I'm on one of the largest tour attractions in the US and what do I take pictures of???? Why a new Aston Martin of course, what else would you expect? And then there was this little road with all of these turns and very steep. I think it was in San Fransisco somewhere. My little black steed was as playful as a kitty that just could not wait to pounce on the fun. However I must admit that some of the people taking pictures were just a bit put out when I kept cutting the rear loose to make the turns. The tyres sound really good spinning on the brick. Oh the fun of it all.

The following names have been changed to protect the stupid: When you manage people, one should always try to live by the rules they enforce on others. It just sets a good example. So, when we(we as in the Training Team, all three members of it) had our weekly conference call today to go over our 15 minutes of material in one hour or more. The new boss decides to read DA1 the riot act because he has to get on an airplane to fly to where the boss (DA2) is sending him and only has 20 minutes to be on the call. After chewing DA1's butt for 5 minutes he then says "now, let's get back on topic because I have to leave soon for personal reasons". WTF are you talking about? DA1 can't use the excuse of flying and getting on an airplane, but you can use the excuse that you need personal time. Does this mean I can use the excuse that I'm fat so that I can take a 30 minute nap at 2pm everyday? Sorry, I can't travel because I'm doing something of great importance t...

Three weeks of MIA in the world of mayhem and outright silliness. Let's recap the weeks, shall we? Week one: 1700 miles. 6 Starbucks. Reno Las Vegas Flagstaff Phoenix/Mesa 116 degree, but it's a dry heat. Week two: 200 miles Still 116 degrees, and who the blimey cares that it is a dry heat? 5 Starbucks Training on a new product line by a used car salesman. He has an answer for everything, even if it's made up on the spot. Week three: 1600 miles Starbucks...can't remember I think that I've worn the fur off my butt from so much time in the truck. Cooled down to 102 degrees. Still a dry heat and still nobody cares. It's hot...really hot...way too hot. Week four: Home this week. I need a nap.

I just had this feeling that someone was following me. Everywhere I went as I drove 65..ok...70mph there was this guy right on my butt, in and out of turns, up and over hills. I felt like I was in the movie "Duel" OK, 75mph for those of you that know me. But no more than that....well maybe 80mph every now and again.

At the recycled arts festival. Nice guy, just a little larger than life.

The really big mountain Lion..... OK , maybe it was a chipmunk ...but it was really big.

when you give a Woodchuck a big hill, even bigger rocks? And a Bike..... Did I mention that the rock was really big. Update: The bike is just fine, thank you very much.

Yes, I have been MIA for sometime now as work has been kind of "sucky" as of late. My daily work emails have gone from 3-4 to 25-30 with the new boss. For those of you that have been counting, that make 3 of them now. It make for a really fun day when all three call and tell you to do something different and the same time. So where have my travels taken me in the last three weeks? Detroit. Here I am at the airport looking for TR. Watching Nevada burn. And moving to a new house just 7.1 miles away. They say that most accidents happen within 5 mile of you home, so we moved just to be safe.